


maybe in distance, but not in heart

by Anonymous_Ostrich



Category: Free!
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Body Worship, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Emergency, Oral Sex, Skinship, body scarring, final year of high school, foodplay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-10 00:07:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2003292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Ostrich/pseuds/Anonymous_Ostrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Never again,” Rei whispered into the blonde’s hair, kissing him gently on the crown of his head. “Please don’t leave me ever again. Not even for a moment.” Nagisa’s eyes were large and he had fallen mute. His hands slid to interlink behind Rei’s neck, holding him close. “I’ll try not to,” he finally said, softly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	maybe in distance, but not in heart

**Author's Note:**

> I've been having more Reigisa feelings than usual lately and this monster one-shot is a result of that. Some shit happens but it has a happy ending don't worry!

"Rei-ch _aaaa_ n, give it back!" Nagisa whined, hands outstretched, trying to grab for the ice cream bar that Rei was currently holding over his head. Rei wasn't exactly the teasing type, but the picture the two of them were creating looked as if Rei were doing it just to irk the shorter blonde. In reality, he was trying to be helpful. _Trying_.

"Nagisa-kun, you were _just_ complaining about your stomach hurting. You're eating too much, you'll get sick." Rei said seriously, deflecting Nagisa's pouting maneuver with a stern glance.

"But I paid for it! I want to finish it!" Nagisa combated stubbornly. Rei sighed, still holding the ice cream just out of reach.

"Technically speaking, _I_ paid for it. When your stomach is feeling better, I'll buy you another. But I won't be responsible for giving you a stomach-ache." he said resolutely, and Nagisa finally dropped his hands and gently rubbed his stomach.

"Well, okay," he laughed, "I guess ice cream will taste better when my stomach is calm. I wonder why it hurts like this," he finished in a soft whine.

"It couldn't have been the ridiculous amount of candy you ate earlier, _surely_." Rei chided, dropping the half-eaten ice cream in the crumpled paper bag full of wrappers he was carrying, ignoring Nagisa's wistful groan as he did so.

"Besides, eating all of this junk is going to make you sink like a rock at the tournament. It's only two weeks away, you should be eating foods that are healthy for your body until then!"

"Yeah, yeah… Sheesh, Rei-chan! You should be a coach!" Nagisa giggled, prodding Rei in the side with his elbow. Rei smiled.

"This is _basic_ body-building and healthy living information. Anyone could tell you that."

Nagisa's eyes rolled upward in thought. "What about Haru-chan? I think he only eats mackerel."

"I'm _pretty_ sure Haruka-sempai eats more than just mackerel. Also, he builds muscle by spending so much time in the water, and he takes it easy on the sweets."

"I just can't win!" Nagisa sighed defeatedly, and then flashed a cheeky smile at Rei before fishing around for the taller's hand and grasping it in his own. Rei smiled back, glancing around them quickly before leaning in and planting a kiss on Nagisa's forehead. Nagisa giggled.

They walked in silence, hands interlocked, alone on the stretch of pavement aside from a couple of children riding their bikes far ahead of them. Nagisa glanced at the sky, melted hues of red and gold gleaming amidst the clouds.

"Rei-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Have you decided on which school you'll go to?"

Rei stopped walking, surprised, hand still firmly holding tight to Nagisa's. Nagisa was smiling at him, eyes bright and expectant and shimmering in unwavering support that made Rei feel absolutely dreadful.

"Oh… Well, I think so."

"Really?!" Nagisa released Rei's hand to grab tightly to his arm. "Which one, which one?"

Rei forced a smile. "The University of Tokyo. I like the professors, and the facility seemed better than the one I visited in Sapporo. Plus, it's a lot closer, so we'd probably be able to see each other every other weekend, at least."

"That's _great_ , Rei-chan!" Nagisa beamed, throwing his arms around Rei's neck. Rei hugged him, guilt searing into him unceasingly. It always threw him, how extremely supportive Nagisa was for his decision to attend a college elsewhere. Maybe Nagisa had always expected it. Rei certainly hadn't. Since meeting Nagisa the thought of being apart from him was not an idea he had ever considered, or perhaps he hadn't wanted to consider it. But they were in their final year of high school, and it was impossible to put it off any longer.

"Let's go to a karaoke bar to celebrate!" Nagisa announced, releasing Rei and pointing a finger authoritatively in the air.

"It's a bit late for that, now. We have school tomorrow, right?" Rei pointed out with a laugh.

"Whhh _aaaa_ t? But I just found out about it now! We should celebrate now!"

"I think it would be better if we planned that sort of thing ahead of time. How about Sunday?"

"Ehhh? That's a whole three days away, Rei-chan! You'll have to re-announce it to make it an official celebration!"

"What? No, that's embarrassing!"

.

.

.

It was a perfect day for practice. This time of the year it was almost _always_ a perfect day for practice, but the Iwatobi Swim Club was especially glad that the weather was favorable since the upcoming tournament was a little less than two weeks away.

Rei was practicing his breaststroke when he heard something odd happening in the lane next to him. It sounded as if Nagisa had stopped swimming mid-stroke, and an eerie silence fell over the pool.

Gou was busy speaking with a couple new members at the pool's edge, so Rei alone noticed the oddity and glanced over at where Nagisa had been practicing; the blonde was beneath the water, unmoving.

"N-Nagisa-kun?!" Rei called pointlessly, hurrying to swim over to the young man when Nagisa surfaced, taking a large gasp for air.

"Ahh," Nagisa winced, holding his side, "I have a really bad cramp!"

Rei willed his heart to calm down and took a short breath of relief. Briskly he swam over to Nagisa's lane, followed by two concerned second-years.

"Nagisa-kun, are you okay?" Rei asked worriedly, and Nagisa waved them off with a good-natured chuckle.

"I'm fine, really, I was just swimming and got a bad cramp in my side."

"Were you eating before you got in the water?" Rei asked, half-scolding, and Nagisa offered him an apologetic smile.

"M _aaay_ beee~" he giggled, and Rei sighed. Gou had been staring at Nagisa cryptically, and finally spoke.

"You should sit out practice today and rest, then." she said decisively, and Nagisa frowned sadly in reply.

"I should be practicing, though, right? The tournament-"

Gou waved a hand in the air and tutted loudly. "Listen to your manager! You're no good to us when you're in pain," Gou pointed out with a kind smile. "At least go rest until you're feeling better. Cramps in the water can be dangerous, even in a pool like this."

"I agree one-hundred percent." Rei announced in his most Captainly voice, and Nagisa finally conceded with a laugh.

"Okay, okay. I'll wait until I feel better, then." he said, and carefully waded over to the edge of the pool, using the ladder to pull himself out. Gou helped him at the last step, as he still had a hand clamped onto his side. Rei watched him go, feeling worried although it was such a trivial matter.

The boys continued their practice, but Nagisa did not join them for the rest of the afternoon. Gou provided Nagisa with a warm cup of tea to help his stomach, and practice was cut short so that Rei and a couple of second-years could walk Nagisa home to make sure he was feeling better. Nagisa assured them that it wasn't necessary, but Rei pointed out that they would do better to practice as a team. As the Iwatobi-bound students waved goodbye at their train stop, Nagisa turned to Rei as the train sped off.

"I feel kinda bad that I made everybody worry. It was just a cramp, I feel like I was complaining for nothing."

"Are you feeling better, now?" Rei asked in concern, and Nagisa patted his stomach.

"Yeah, that tea helped a lot. I feel much better." the blonde responded adamantly. Rei smiled.

"You've been getting a lot of stomach-aches lately. I think you should consider cutting out the junk food, at least until the tournament is over." Rei suggested, shifting to cross his arms over his chest, his shoulder bumping into Nagisa's purposefully. Nagisa retaliated gently.

"Alright, I guess you probably have a point. It's just so hard though!" he whined.

"How about I prepare your food until the tournament?" said Rei, his face flushing mildly at the suggestion. He hadn't exactly meant for the words to come tumbling out, he had been mostly thinking aloud, but he realized the implications now that he had said it.

Nagisa stared at Rei with wide eyes that nearly seemed to sparkle with delight. Rei cleared his throat. "You know, just so you don't suffer during practice. I could… I could make you lunch, and I could prepare dinner for you as well, on the certain nights when both my mom and dad work late."

Nagisa's mouth formed an enormous smile, and he happily tossed his arms around Rei's neck, kissing him lovingly on the cheek. Rei's face flushed brilliant crimson, still not used to such displays of affection in public places.

"Rei-chan, you're such a good cook, I would love that! And the thought of you bringing me a lunch every day, that's really sexy!" he giggled deviously, and Rei tried and failed to shake the boy off of him.

"Don't call it _sexy_ , that's indecent! I'm doing it to help you-"

"I know, Rei-chan," Nagisa purred, nuzzling his face into Rei's shoulder happily and effectively causing the dark-haired young man to fall silent. "It just makes me really happy to think about it."

The rest of the train ride home was spent in relative silence, Rei content with Nagisa's head resting on his shoulder and an arm linked around his own.

.

.

.

For the next four days, Rei prepared a vegetable heavy, protein-rich lunch for Nagisa and brought it to school with him. Nagisa was always incredibly happy to receive the food, remarking each day about how perfect the presentation was, and how good the food tasted and made him feel. Rei was naturally very pleased about this, as he had most certainly wanted to help nourish Nagisa and stop his stomach-aches.

His practices were still suffering, however. He often couldn't swim for as long or as fast as he usually could, and although Rei asked him tirelessly if his stomach was bothering him again, Nagisa would assure him that everything was fine.

It was later in the week that Nagisa came to Rei's house for dinner.

Rei wasn't an unromantic fellow by any means; he knew that with the two of them alone, he had a lot of opportunity to make things appropriately romantic for the two of them. He had toned down the lights in the dining room and placed candles on the table amidst a handful of dark red rose petals, (having studied the various meanings of roses, the color that represented both love _and_ beauty was the obvious choice,) and was still working on preparing the dinner when Nagisa arrived.

When Rei opened the door, he was greeted by a smiling Nagisa, who let himself in easily and immediately removed his shoes. "Ahhh, Rei-chan, it smells amazing!" Nagisa said, taking a long whiff.

Rei smiled. "It's not done yet," he said, walking with Nagisa to the kitchen. "You can go relax and wait, if you'd like."

"No, I want to help! Is there anything I can do?" Nagisa asked, glancing around at the various pots that were bubbling and simmering. Rei turned to look at his boyfriend in the light of the kitchen, and his face fell immediately.

"Nagisa-kun, are you feeling alright?" Rei asked worriedly. Nagisa seemed a little more pale than usual, almost peakish. Nagisa tilted his head at Rei.

"Ehh? Yeah, of course! Why, do I look weird?"

"No, you look fine, it's just… You just look a little pale." Instinctively, Rei raised a hand and placed it gently to Nagisa's forehead. He pulled it away after a moment. "You feel warm."

"Of course I do, it's really hot outside!" Nagisa laughed, shaking his head. "I'm fine, Rei-chan, really!' The blonde walked toward the door and peeked into the dining room. "Oh… _Oooohh_! Rei-chan, it's looks so romantic in here! You didn't tell me this was going to be a _date_!"

"I would have figured it would be rather obvious..." Rei said stoically, stirring some of the vegetables and gathering his oven-mitts to pull the meat from the oven. "With the two of us alone and all, I just thought-" Rei turned to look at his boyfriend and stopped talking abruptly. Nagisa had one hand on the wall, head down, his other arm cradling his stomach.

"Nagisa-kun! I knew it, you aren't feeling well, are you?" Rei said, dropping the oven mitts and rushing to Nagisa's side. Nagisa flashed him his usual carefree smile and shook his head.

"I think I'm fine, I'm just _really_ hungry. My stomach is growling like crazy!" The blonde regarded Rei's suspicious look and responded with a look of his own. "I haven't had anything to eat since lunch! Do you know how weird that is for me?" Nagisa chided, and Rei sighed.

"Alright… But if you're still feeling strange after dinner, I'm scheduling a doctor's appointment for you. So many stomach-aches in such a short time can't be usual."

"Ahh, the doctor?! Nooo, Rei-chan, I _hate_ going to the doctor!"

"No one _enjoys_ going to the doctor," Rei pointed out with a quirked brow. "But if you're sick-"

"I'm definitely not sick, Rei-chan," Nagisa said with a smile. "I'm just starving. So tell me what to do to help!"

.

.

.

Nagisa seemed to have perked up once the dinner was served, much to Rei's relief.

"Rei-chan, this is so delicious! I wish you were my mom, then you could cook for me like this all the time!" he exclaimed.

Rei grimaced. "That's a pretty strange thing to say to your _boyfriend_." he pointed out, and Nagisa snorted.

"You know what I mean," Nagisa laughed, taking another bite. Rei smiled reproachfully.

"I guess so. Still, you should really think about the things you say before they leave your mout- Nagisa-kun?"

Nagisa was frozen, fork still in his hand, his eyes staring at the table intensely as if the table had done something to wrong him. He opened his mouth as if to say something, and then shut it again. Rei frowned.

"Nagisa-kun? What is it?"

The fork clattered onto the floor and Nagisa suddenly pushed away from the table, his eyes large and his face screwed up in something akin to fear. "Rei-chan… Something…" Nagisa coughed, and then yelped; Rei stood up, chair scraping against the wood floor loudly, his heart hammering uncomfortably in his chest. Nagisa went to stand up but buckled over as if he had been suddenly snapped in half; the blonde fell to his knees, hissing in pain and holding his stomach.

"Aaah… O- _Owww_ , Rei-chan, my stomach... Something's wrong, it _hurts_ …"

Rei hurried to Nagisa, kneeling down next to him and placing a hand on his back. "Nagisa-kun, tell me what's going on, what hurts exactly? Show me where!"

Nagisa shakily pointed to his right side, twirling a finger somewhere between his navel and his pelvic bone, and then cried out again, squeezing his eyes shut. "Oh my.. _God…_ It _hurts_ , Rei-chan!" he gasped.

Rei couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. Without another thought, Rei pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed 119.

"... Yes, hello! We need an ambulance. Yes. Yes, I believe my friend's appendix is rupturing, we need an ambulance quickly. He's in a lot of pain, and soon he may be completely immobile."

"Wuh- What? Rei-chan, my appendix…?" Nagisa whimpered, the pain rendering him silent as Rei relayed his home address to the dispatcher, and then hung up.

Rei immediately draped an arm over Nagisa's shoulders and hugged him close, taking a deep breath.

"I should have seen the signs… Just hang in there, Nagisa-kun, the ambulance will be here soon. I'll call your parents, too, so don't worry about a thing-"

"It really hurts, Rei-chan! Shit, _It really hurts_ …"

"I know," Rei said comfortingly, panic rising in his throat. He had never really been in an emergency situation before, nothing more than a teammates' sprained ankle, but he had read that it was very important to remain calm, at least outwardly. He intended to be as calm as he could possibly manage, but he was finding it much more difficult than he would have imagined.

Seeing Nagisa in pain like this was terrifying. He wasn't sure how serious the situation really was, but he knew that Nagisa had been having pains for nearly a week. Appendicitis was much easier to deal with when caught early on, he knew that much.

It had only been a few moments since he'd hung up with the dispatcher, but he already felt like they were taking an eternity to arrive. Rei focused all of his energy into comforting his boyfriend, who was currently in more pain than he could imagine.

.

.

.

The sounds and smells of the hospital were unfamiliar and unwelcome in equal measure. Rei had only been inside of a hospital a couple of times for very inconsequential reasons, but he disliked the sterile atmosphere and the feeling of foreboding that usually hit you as soon as you walked through the doors. The sole of Rei's shoe was tapping neurotically on the ground, his knee bobbing nervously. From his seat, his gaze continued to shift from the counter to the front doors. Nothing was happening in either place, but he couldn't help but check every few seconds.

Nagisa's parents were unable to come. His mother was flying internationally for work and couldn't be reached, and his father was out of town. The quickest he could come back was the next morning, and he had already booked a flight. After having made these calls, Rei tried calling Gou to see if she could come down. Her reply had been panicked and hard to make out, but from what Rei could understand, she was going to come down as quickly as she could. There didn't seem to be any point in texting or calling Haruka, Makoto or Rin; the three of them no longer lived anywhere nearby, and Rei wasn't entirely sure causing a mass panic among all of Nagisa's friends was a rational idea. He was at least glad that Gou was coming; he felt like he was crumbling to pieces, and desperately needed someone to help hold him together while he waited on word of Nagisa's condition.

It was a little under an hour before Rei heard the front doors swing open, and Gou came rushing in, her face pink from running, her breath short. She saw Rei immediately, and he stood, meeting her half-way.

"Rei-kun!" Gou panted, her face alight with concern. "What's happening? How's Nagisa?"

"There isn't any word yet," Rei said. "They rushed him into the operating room as soon as we got here. They think his appendix may have ruptured in the ambulance on the way over." Saying the words out loud caused a burst of a nameless icy cold substance to shoot through his veins and sting the back of his eyes.

"Oh my god…" Gou glanced worriedly at the counter, and then back to Rei. "Are his parents here?"

"No… They can't come until later-"

The front doors opened again, and another Matsuoka sibling entered. Rei's mouth fell open.

"R-rin-san!"

Rin spotted them and made his way over quickly, not quite as winded as his sister. "How is he?" he gasped, sweat beaded at his brow.

"No word yet," Gou answered, shaking her head. She glanced back at Rei. "I meant to mention it on the phone, but I was too shocked to think of it. Big brother got into town earlier today."

"I was gonna hit you guys up tomorrow and surprise you," Rin said apologetically. "But… Fuck. We don't know _anything_ about his condition?"

Rei was too stressed to show just how happy he was to see Rin, but Rin's presence was in of itself an enormous relief. Rei shook his head. "He's in surgery right now. He passed out in the ambulance on the way over, so I'm not sure how he felt before they took him in. The doctor said he would let me know just as soon as there was a development."

Rin's brows were drawn together in anger. "Tch… What kind of hospital is this? Saying something like that is only gonna make us worry more, don't they know _anything_?"

"Big brother, they're doing the best they can. Don't get angry over something like that." Gou said reproachfully. Rin reluctantly calmed at her words. She glanced at Rei in concern. "How are _you_?" she asked gently. Rei wasn't sure how to answer. His stomach was doing painful pirouettes, his head was pounding, and his hands were shaking. If he even looked remotely put-together at the moment, he would be impressed with himself. An anxiety attack was perched just at the back of his throat, but he was doing everything he could to keep it at bay.

"I'm… I don't know," Rei answered honestly. Gou pressed her lips together tightly.

"Have you had anything to drink? How about a coffee?" Gou asked, giving him no opportunity to answer before rummaging in her hoodie pockets for change. "I'll get us some coffee. I've been here before, I remember where the vending machines are. I'll be right back, okay?" she said, jogging off down the hall behind them.

Before Rei could even think to say anything, Rin's arm was slipping behind Rei's neck and he was being pressed snugly against Rin's side.

"Come on. Let's get a breath of fresh air."

"No, I… I need to stay here… In case something happens, I… Need..." Rei felt himself unfolding, and before he realized it, tears were clouding his vision and he was shaking so hard he could feel his teeth rattling. He could barely hear Rin talking to the woman behind the counter over the rushing sound in his ears, but it was clear that he was informing her of where they were going, and asking politely to grab them if there were any developments. She hurriedly agreed, having noticed Rei's deteriorating state.

After receiving an affirmative, Rin encouragingly increased his hold around Rei's neck, nudging him toward the doors with him. "See? They'll tell us the second they hear anything. We're just gonna step outside for a couple of minutes." Rei followed, his breathing coming in short bursts and tightly compressed sobs. He didn't have the will to try arguing.

Once outside, Rin released Rei, but kept a hand anchored on his shoulder. "Hey. I need you to breathe for me. Counting backwards from ten."

Rei felt light-headed. Nagisa was in the building behind them, on an operating table, being cut open. There were tubes in his mouth. He was hooked up to machines monitoring his precious heartbeat, and there were surgeons working diligently to keep that heartbeat from flatlining. At the thought, Rin's words were drowned out, and the anxiety that Rei had been keeping in check came flowing out of him in the form of tears and broken words.

"Na-Nagisa-kun was h-having pains… I sho- *gasp* I should have k-known something was… Was… It's _my fault_ … _Nagisa-kun_ …"

"Oy, Rei," Rin's hands were tight around his shoulders. "Listen to me. This isn't anyone's fault, and the last thing Nagisa needs is for you to be out here blaming yourself, okay? Rei. _Deep_ breaths. Let 'em out slow. Count back from ten." To help the process along, Rin sucked in breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out slowly. Rei mimicked his actions, his eyesight bleary.

For fifteen seconds Rei focused on breathing. It helped tremendously, as it usually did. His hands were still shaking and his stomach was still in horrendous knots, but his mind felt clearer and he had managed to stop crying.

"Better?" Rin asked. Rei nodded feebly.

"Rin-san… I'm sorry, I'm so pathetic right now…"

"Hey, shut it. It's not pathetic to freak out when someone you love is going through something like this. It would freak anyone out. The worst part is how unexpected it was."

Rei removed his glasses carefully, wiping the lenses on his shirt shakily. "I agree about that… We were just having a nice dinner when all of a sudden he just collapsed in pain. I can't believe I held together for as long as I did, honestly. As soon as I saw him in pain like that…" He replaced his glasses on his face as soon as they were clean and heaved a sigh. "I really should have seen the signs. He's been having stomach pains for a _week_ now…"

"Hey, what did I say about that?" Rin shot hotly. "It's _Nagisa_. He eats like crap, of _course_ he was going to get stomach-aches, with or without his appendix acting up. You couldn't have known. Hell _he_ didn't even know. Sometimes you just can't know."

Rei's gaze fell to the ground. "I'm so worried about him, it's hard to breathe. I just want to know what's happening…"

"I know," Rin said, kicking at a rock on the ground. "But we just have to wait." He sighed and glanced up at the sky. "I wish Haru and Makoto could be here. I bet Makoto'd know just what to say in this situation."

Rei smiled softly. "Everything you've said so far is exactly what I've needed to hear."

"Oh yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here, Rin-san," Rei said, accompanied by another long sigh. "Nagisa-kun will be glad you're here, too. It will be a nice surprise for him."

Rin grinned, swiping some hair away from his eyes. "Damn right. I hope he doesn't bust his stitches when he sees me. For that matter, can you even imagine him stuck in a stuffy hospital bed? He's gonna go nuts!"

Despite the gnawing worry in Rei's gut, he managed a chuckle. "I hadn't thought about that."

"Of course not, you're only thinking about the bad shit," Rin said accusingly, poking Rei in the forehead. "Appendicitis is a totally common thing. This hospital has probably seen hundreds of them. Nagisa'll be fine. You can't keep that kid down if you tried."

Rei nodded stiffly. He knew it was common, but appendicitis was usually caught before it got bad enough to warrant immediate surgery, and he knew that, as well. It wasn't the most rational idea to dwell on the worst-case-scenario, but Rei had always coveted a 'glass is half-empty' mentality, even when he tried not to. No matter which way he looked at it, as long as there was a risk, he would continue to worry. Until he could talk to Nagisa, see him smile, hold his hand, touch his hair, he was going to be a mess. He suspected Rin knew this as well.

The doors opened loudly from behind them. Gou stepped outside, three canned coffees tucked in her arms.

"You guys! The Doctor wants to talk to you!" she exclaimed. Rei whirled on the spot, his heart dropping to his stomach with a sickening plop. Rin grabbed his shoulder again, giving it a squeeze.

"Come on." he urged, and Rei steeled himself, re-adjusting his glasses. He followed Gou quickly through the front doors back into the lobby.

The doctor was talking with the receptionist and signing a document when Rei stopped just shy of the counter, his hands wringing each other to keep from visibly trembling. He was noticed quickly, and the doctor turned to him, slipping a pen back into his pocket.

"Ryugazaki-kun?" he asked, and Rei could only manage a nod and stifle a gulp. "Hazuki-kun is out of surgery. He's in the post-anesthesia care unit recovering, but everything went well. He'll be fine."

The world around Rei seemed to get brighter, perhaps paler, and his every muscle and bone collectively reduced to jelly. Somehow or other, he managed to stay upright.

"Thank _god…_ He's really okay?" Rei asked, feeling tears of relief threatening to show themselves. The doctor smiled.

"He's fine. There were some complications, because of the emergency nature of the surgery. His appendix ruptured before we could remove it, but that's not incredibly uncommon." The doctor rolled up his sleeves as he spoke. "There was some infected tissue surrounding his appendix, but once he's moved out of the care unit we'll put him on some antibiotics."

"When can he see people?" Rin asked curiously.

"Maybe in a few hours, if we don't catch any post-surgery problems before we move him. But he may not be moved to a hospital bed until tomorrow. His parents are coming in the morning, right? You might be waiting a while, so it might be best if you all went home. It's getting late."

The thought of leaving without seeing Nagisa was out of the question. "I'd like to stay, if it doesn't inconvenience anyone."

The doctor didn't seem perturbed by this. "Suit yourself," he said. "We'll let you know just as soon as anything develops. Don't push yourself, though," he added seriously. As he walked away, Rei felt light, almost like he could float away. The sensation was squashed when he was jerked back to reality by Gou's hand, who had a hold of his nose tightly between her fingers.

"G-Gou-choon?" Rei's voice did not sound very beautiful with his nose plugged. "What-"

"You looked like you were going to faint!" Gou accused, but her face was rosy. She released his nose and smiled. "You were really scared, huh?"

" _Yes_ ," he breathed, closing his eyes. "Weren't _you_?" he asked, rubbing his nose.

"Of course I was!" she squeaked indignantly.

"I told you the little twerp would be fine," Rin said, resting his arm on Rei's shoulder. He breathed a sigh. "Have you texted Haru and Makoto about any of this yet? They should probably get an update."

Rei shook his head, feeling slightly guilty for his earlier indecision to do so. "I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, so I didn't call anyone but Nagisa-kun's parents and Gou-san."

"I'll text them and give them all the news!" Gou announced, whipping out her phone with the dexterity of a secret agent going for their weapon.

"We'll stick around for a while, okay?" Rin said, offering Rei a smile. "I'm in town for another two days, so even if I can't visit him tonight, I can drop by tomorrow."

Rei smiled sincerely. "Thank you," he said.

.

.

.

Rei awoke to a strong hand gently shaking his shoulder. For a moment Rei wasn't sure where he was or why his back was so stiff when suddenly he remembered that he'd fallen asleep in the lobby, a scratchy hospital blanket draped over one shoulder, the rest of it pooled in his lap.

"Ryugazaki-kun. Hazuki-kun is awake, and he's been moved to a room. He's asking for you."

Rei inhaled breath sharply and moved to sit up properly, re-adjusting his glasses which had fallen slightly askew during his sleep. He glanced at his watch: 6:13am. He had only just fallen asleep four hours ago, but he was amazed that he'd been able to sleep at all. He blinked the sleep away and pulled off his blanket, standing up as he haphazardly folded it. The doctor gently took it from him mid-fold.

"Wha-what room is he in?"

"Don't worry, I'll take you there," the doctor assured, motioning for Rei to follow, and Rei did so without question.

Nagisa had been taken to a room on the 2nd floor. Rei's heart was hammering wildly as he walked, and his legs distinctly felt like lead. He surmised that he was still nervous… The mental image of Nagisa hooked up to machines and fluids was daunting, and Rei was frightened to see a subdued, weakened Nagisa in place of the Nagisa that always had excessive amounts of energy that flowed from him like a fountain. More than anything, however, he was just anxious to see him. He wanted to talk to him and feel his heart beating through his fingertips, real, definitive proof that he was alive and well.

Before he realized they'd reached their destination, the doctor was pulling a door open and ushering Rei inside, promising to return soon to check on his patient. Large burgundy eyes greeted Rei from the bed of the small room, lit up with a familiar excitement that Rei was accustomed to seeing nearly every day of his life for the past three years. Rei stood just inside the doorway, his emotions doing a million things all at once.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa exclaimed joyously. "I can't believe you stayed here _all night_!"

There was a pale tint to Nagisa's skin, his hair was mussed, but altogether he looked like _Nagisa_ , almost as if he'd just woken up from a long nap. The fluids and machines attached to him were not nearly as terrifying as Rei had envisioned them, and even if they were, it was hard to consider them as such when Nagisa was beaming at him so brightly.

"Rei-chan?" The blonde looked worried, and Rei realized he hadn't yet moved from the doorway. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Rei said, removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes furiously on the back of his arm. "I'm sorry, I…"

"Rei-chan, are you crying?" Nagisa asked gently, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

Rei sputtered a laugh. "I'm sorry," he repeated. He replaced his glasses and pulled a chair up to the bed. "Nagisa-kun… How are you feeling?"

Nagisa's smiled reemerged. "My stomach is really sore, but they gave me pain medicine so it's really not so bad! I was really sleepy for a while, I kept drifting in and out, but now I feel wide awake!"

Rei smiled. "I'm… _Really glad_. I was so worried…"

"Sorry for worrying you, Rei-chan," Nagisa offered with a sad smile. Rei waved his hands hastily.

"You can't apologize for something like _that_! It isn't your fault!" Rei sought for Nagisa's hand, which he held gently, careful of the tube that was taped in place. His eyes were focused on the hand, warm to the touch, blood flowing through the veins, fingers curling around his own. It made him so happy he wanted to cry. "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

"Rei-chan, how is it _your_ fault? Appendicitis is just something that _happens_ , it isn't-"

"You were experiencing pains for a whole week leading up to this," Rei said seriously. He lifted Nagisa's hand and pressed it to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. "I just wrote it off as stomach-aches because of how you were eating. I never considered it could have been more serious, and because of that, things could have ended a lot worse…"

"Don't talk like that, Rei-chan," Nagisa chided. "Everything's fine now, right? I didn't suspect anything, either! Sometimes you just don't see it coming and then _WHOOSH_ ~" with his free hand, Nagisa imitated a speeding object crashing into an invisible wall, "it hits you, and there's nothing you can do about it." His words reminded Rei of Rin, who had said something eerily similar during their talk several hours ago. Nagisa frowned at Rei thoughtfully. "Rei-chan, you look like I _feel_. Were you really that worried about me?"

"How could I _not_ be?" Rei demanded, still holding Nagisa's hand in both of his. "If anything happened to you… I'd… _I'd_ …" He felt dangerously close to tears again. This time, Nagisa reached over and placed his fingertips against Rei's mouth.

"Nothing happened, I'm right here," Nagisa cooed with an encouraging smile. "So don't think like that, okay? I'm not going anywhere, I promise." His hand slipped down to grasp the collar of Rei's shirt, pulling him closer. Rei resisted only minimally.

"Is- Is this okay? I don't want to pull anything out, or-"

"It's _fine_ , Rei-chan. Kiss me."

Rei needed no other incentive. He eagerly met Nagisa's mouth with his own, kissing him slowly, earnestly, his heart racing uncomfortably in his chest. They broke apart a moment later, Rei's hands moving to cup the sides of Nagisa's face, kissing him on his cheek, his nose, his forehead. Nagisa couldn't stifle a giggle, his cheeks tinted with the faintest of pink.

"Rei-chan…"

"Never again," Rei whispered into the blonde's hair, kissing him gently on the crown of his head. "Please don't leave me ever again. Not even for a moment."

Nagisa's eyes were large and he had fallen mute. His hands slid to interlink behind Rei's neck, holding him close. "I'll try not to," he finally said, softly. "I really am sorry for worrying you so much, Rei-chan. But I really am okay, so there's no need to feel bad anymore, okay?"

Rei nodded, smiling. He attempted to pull away but Nagisa's hold kept him close, Nagisa's face smiling and rosier than it had been when he first entered the room.

"I'm sorry I'm acting this way," Rei said apologetically. "I feel like I should be stronger right now, but all I can seem to do is panic and cry. It's not very beautiful, and it's not what you deserve."

"What are you _talking_ about, Rei-chan?" Nagisa asked with a gentle laugh, releasing Rei so that he could sit back down comfortably. "You were _super_ strong! You were so cool when you were on the phone with the dispatcher…" his eyes narrowed, his expression turning stoic, " _We need an ambulance. I believe my friend's appendix is rupturing_." Even Rei could no longer deny that Nagisa's impression of him was bettering with time. "You completely had it together! And the whole time I was awake in the ambulance, you were helping the dispatchers and staying totally calm! If it were me, and our positions were reversed, I would have been a mess!"

"Really?" Rei hadn't really remembered any of that. He'd been too caught up in the moment to worry about how calm he was being. His brain had switched to an Emergency Mode he hadn't even known he possessed, and he had functioned almost automatically. It had all been an unhappy blur.

"You were there for me. You told me everything was going to be alright, and I believed you. It was because of your quick thinking that I got help so quickly, Rei-chan! You know what the doctor told me? He said that if I'd gotten help just a little bit later, I might have been in big trouble."

Even though everything was okay and Nagisa was fine, Rei hated to think of possible alternate outcomes. He aggressively shooed those thoughts away.

"I'm glad I was useful to you, then," Rei said with a sincere smile.

"Rei-chan is always useful to me," Nagisa countered. "I'd be lost without my Rei-chan." His smile waned suddenly and his eyes dropped to the sheets covering his stomach. "I wish this hadn't happened _now_ , though. I won't be able to compete in the tournament with you guys."

Rei nearly asked, _What tournament?_ because the thought had been so far from his mind he barely registered anything outside of the hospital as reality. Memory jogged itself with a violent _pang_.

"Nagisa-kun, that's the very _last_ thing you should be worried about. Your health comes before any tournament. Besides, Akiyama-kun's preferred stroke is breast, so he should be able to-"

"It isn't just that!" Nagisa exclaimed dolefully. "This is our last year together before we graduate, and I wanted to swim with you as much as I could! The doctor said I won't be able to do anything for eight whole weeks. _Eight weeks_ , Rei-chan! That's practically forever! We only have this one last year together…" Nagisa trailed off, biting his bottom lip, brows knotted together in distress. Rei sought for his hand again and held it tightly in his own.

"There are other tournaments and events we can enter before the year is over. Once you're all healed up, we'll swim together."

Nagisa's eyes were brimming with tears, and he glanced away, wiping at them with his free hand. "I'll be so out of shape by then, I'll be useless at any kind of event." He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Rei-chan. _I'm_ the one getting emotional now," Nagisa admitted with a laugh that caused him some mild discomfort. "But I hadn't really thought about it until just now."

"It's okay," Rei affirmed.

"It's just… I know we talked about it, and I know that after graduation we're going to be apart for a while. I've accepted that, which was why I was going to put everything into this year, and make sure I made enough memories to last me until we can be together again." His eyes were glossy again, shining with tears that were coming too quickly to bother wiping away. Rei could never bear to see tears staining Nagisa's face, and gently wiped them away with his thumb.

"We don't have to be in the water to make memories. Even if you're not allowed in the pool until you heal, you should only have to stay in the hospital for a week or so, right?"

" _Two_ weeks," Nagisa stated miserably. "Unless my infection clears up way ahead of schedule."

"Still," Rei continued, deflecting Nagisa's powerful pout, "we're making memories no matter what we're doing. Please don't worry about things like that, Nagisa-kun… We have the whole rest of this year together before we have to worry about being apart."

Nagisa nodded, smiling uncertainly. "Yeah," he said distantly. Rei's brain was working furiously to think of something to say to take Nagisa's mind away from those thoughts.

"Rin-san was here earlier," he finally decided to say. Nagisa's eyes lit up immediately, and Rei breathed a mental sigh of relief.

"Rin-chan's in town?" Nagisa asked happily.

"He'll be coming by later, probably after your parents get here. It was a surprise when he showed up in the lobby with Gou-san."

"I can't wait to see him!" Nagisa exclaimed excitedly, and Rei smiled warmly.

"He mentioned something about bringing you something good, too."

"Something good? I hope it's cake!"

"You can't eat cake while you're here, Nagisa-kun… _Honestly…_ "

.

.

.

Rei visited Nagisa each day after swim practice, like clock-work. He scarfed a light dinner on the way to the hospital, Nagisa's schoolwork for the day tucked away in his backpack. He wasn't entirely confident that Nagisa was focusing on his work after he left him in the evening, because Nagisa was always adamant to ignore his schoolwork while Rei was with him, insisting instead on talking about Rei's day, the weather, how the swim club was doing, and other things of that nature. Rei was too relieved to care. He was grateful that he could talk to Nagisa at all, and because of this, he found himself being much less critical than usual.

Although Nagisa wasn't there to cheer them on, the Iwatobi Swim Club placed 3rd in the relay event at the Prefectural Tournament, which was a big accomplishment considering that two first-years were swimming the breast and free legs. Rei and their backstroke-specializing second-year managed to place first in their own individual events, ensuring that the Iwatobi Swim Club could advance. Rei was happy, but less so once he looked at the stands and was reminded that Nagisa hadn't been there for any of it.

The next eight weeks passed by with relative ease. A mere week after he had been discharged from the hospital, Nagisa was behaving very much like himself again, with the exception of any strenuous movement, heavy laughter or excited flailing that usually made up 80% of his daily activities. To make up for the fact that they could neither swim together nor engage in _other_ physical activities that would hinder the healing process, Rei increased their study sessions, helping to get Nagisa caught up as much as he could. Although Rei had regained his ability to be strict with Nagisa, he still found that many of their study sessions ended in cuddling and kissing, and sometimes a movie or a ridiculous conversation that lasted until long after Rei or Nagisa was meant to return home for the night.

Nagisa helped where he could at the swim club, giving tips and verbal coaching to the first-years who asked for his help. Rei could tell that Nagisa was unhappy sitting by the side-lines as the rest of them trained, but it was obvious to them both that there was nothing to be done about it except wait until he could get back in the water. Now that Nagisa was healing and everything had gone back to normal, Rei could easily see why Nagisa had been so upset in the hospital when he realized he wouldn't be able to swim.

It was raining hard when Rei received an excited call from Nagisa. His doctor declared him well enough to get back in the water, and as long as he didn't overdo it until he was sure he could handle it, he had full permission to train with the others every day. Rei immediately suggested a celebratory dinner at his house the following Saturday, with an invitation to stay the night.

"Oh, _Rei_ -chan," came Nagisa's voice, thick with mischievousness. Rei reddened in reply. It wasn't as if he _didn't_ have something along those lines planned, (he knew that of the two of them, Nagisa had suffered the most during their tragically sexless past eight weeks, but regardless of his comparatively lower sex-drive, he was just as eager to indulge,) but Rei had more than just dinner and sex on his mind.

.

.

.

"Are you sure that isn't too heavy?"

Nagisa rolled his eyes and slipped off his shoes in the entryway whilst holding two plastic bags full of vegetables and other ingredients. "Rei-chan, I think I can handle a couple of grocery bags," he replied, striding ahead of Rei to the kitchen, setting the bags down on the counter. "I was swimming yesterday, remember? It didn't hurt at all!"

"I remember, but I also remember that I was a complete wreck the entire time," Rei sighed, setting his own bags down near the others. Nagisa put a finger to his chin.

"I guess you were. You barely practiced at all, did you?"

"It was your first time swimming since the operation! I stayed up late researching all the things that could have gone wrong, and you wouldn't _believe_ the stories people were sharing-"

"Rei-chan, you can't go to the internet for that sort of thing! People always post the 'worst-case-scenario' stories!" Nagisa groaned, nuzzling the top of his head against Rei's side. Rei grimaced.

"I had to be prepared for the worst, so it's fine!" he rebutted. His expression dissolved into a warm smile. "But after seeing you swim, I feel a lot better. I'm glad to see you're feeling so well. It's a load off my mind, truly."

Nagisa glanced up at Rei with a cheery smile. "Mine too," he admitted with a laugh. "It was really hard, being around you all swimming and not being able to join in! For a while, I think I felt what it was like to be Haru-chan!"

Rei couldn't help but laugh at the thought. He reached out to touch Nagisa's fluffy mop, running a hand through his hair affectionately. "Did you want to help with dinner? With the two of us, it should only take-"

A warm, seeking mouth inturrupted Rei by closing itself over his, kissing him in earnest, hands traveling up Rei's chest to rest on his shoulders, holding their bodies close. Rei was by no means surprised, as this happened more often than he ever imagined possible when they were alone, but tonight, Rei had a very special order in which the night was supposed to progress and _this was not it_.

His hands found Nagisa's shoulders, applying just enough pressure to ease them apart, Nagisa's breath hot against his lips, the blonde's tongue wet and tracing his bottom lip. Rei shuddered.

"N-Nagisa-kun, we shouldn't start this _now_ , we have to make dinner first-"

"I seriously don't think I can wait that long, Rei-chan," Nagisa whimpered desperately, his hands fisting in the front of Rei's polo. "We can make dinner after. I've gone without for _two months_ , Rei-chan, I'm about to explode here!"

It was exceedingly hard to argue when Nagisa was breathing tauntingly against Rei's mouth, his leg firmly planted between Rei's legs and his expression so adorably pleading. He thought to protest one last time, but Nagisa rubbed himself against him in just the right way, and heat rose abruptly into Rei's stomach and lower jaw. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses importantly, despite the redness of his cheeks.

"A-alright, let's go to the bedro-"

"No, right here," Nagisa murmured greedily, pulling Rei in for another kiss before he could object. He pulled Rei back toward the kitchen table, his ass hitting the side and hopping up onto it, squirming until he found a comfortable position. He moaned into Rei's mouth, sucking his tongue in the most deviously erotic way, causing Rei's knees to weaken.

Rei grunted and pulled away, his mouth latching onto Nagisa's jawbone and leaving a string of kisses and bites as his hands worked to unbutton Nagisa's shirt as quickly as possible. This wasn't how he had planned it, not by a long shot, but he was far too aroused to care. One thought remained constant, however; he wanted to give Nagisa as much pleasure as possible.

Rei opened Nagisa's shirt as Nagisa shouldered off his hoodie, groaning softly as Rei worked his way along Nagisa's collarbone, his tongue hot and lingering on the pale skin of his throat. He pulled away, his eyes trailing to the appendectomy scar above his right pelvic bone. It had healed nicely but was still an angry red, curved slightly, the skin surrounding it taut and as yet unaccustomed to the healing flesh. He hadn't seen it up-close and uncovered since Nagisa was in the hospital, when it was still fresh and covered in stitches.

"Does it look bad?" Nagisa asked softly, a hint of worry lingering in his voice that Rei usually didn't hear. Rei felt suddenly bad for staring, and he realized that Nagisa may have been feeling insecure because of Rei's well-known affinity for beauty.

"Not at all," Rei answered, proving his point by leaning down to touch his lips to the scar, feather-light, noticing Nagisa's abdomen muscles contracting in surprise at the contact. "Every inch of you is beautiful," he continued, kissing Nagisa there gently. "My beautiful Nagisa-kun..."

Nagisa gasped in arousal, letting loose a low moan, fingers raking through Rei's hair and gripping onto him tightly.

" _Rei-chan_ …"

"Can you feel that?" Rei asked curiously, planting another soft kiss over the thin line of endearingly marred flesh.

Nagisa nodded fervently, another gasp slipping out. "It feels… Kinda numb… But kinda good, too…" he sputtered. It was the intimacy of the gesture that was the most erotic thing, but he was no stranger to Rei's intricate fascination with his body, or the way Rei took time to explore every bit of him before completely losing his head to desire. Nagisa loved it and hated it in equal measure; it felt heavenly and it drove him to the brink of ecstasy, but he tended to be far more impatient than his partner, and these sessions would leave him begging for Rei to give him release.

Rei knew that Nagisa was especially eager today, and so he gave Nagisa's abdomen a farewell kiss and stood up, Nagisa grabbing him by the collar and yanking him in for another fierce kiss. The blonde bucked against him, wordlessly begging for more, nearly causing Rei to forget the purchase he'd made for this exact situation.

"Wait," Rei pulled back only slightly, Nagisa regarding him with large eyes clouded over with lust. "Please take off your pants, Nagisa-kun."

There was no hesitance on Nagisa's end. As he hastily discarded his pants and boxers on the floor, he watched Rei move over to the counter, fishing around in one of the plastic grocery bags.

"What are you doing, Rei-chan?"

"You had to go and disturb my perfectly romantic schedule," Rei said accusingly, finally locating a small bottle. "I was going to make dinner, and then _afterward_ we were going to have 'dessert'."

Nagisa's eyes flew open in surprise. He knew the label on the bottle straight away, mostly because it was one of his favorite flavors.

"Strawberry sauce?" Nagisa asked curiously.

Rei approached Nagisa, opening the bottle. He regarded Nagisa sitting on his kitchen table, naked, his flushed cock already fully erect. They had not yet experimented with any sort of food product, but Rei had stumbled across the subject many times when looking up ideas for tonight's festivities. As Rei poured some of the bright red substance into his hand, Nagisa gasped in realization, his eyes practically sparkling at the prospect.

"Oh my god, Rei-chan! That's so _hot_!"

Rei blushed. "I wasn't sure what flavor to get, so I just went with strawberry, seeing how it's your favorite. Although technically I'll be the one eating it for the moment…"

Nagisa grinned devilishly. "Rei-chan, you're eating dessert before we've eaten dinner, and we're doing something like - _auhhh_ \- _this…_ on the kitchen table…?" His voice broke when Rei's hand circled around Nagisa's cock, coating his length diligently with the strawberry sauce. Nagisa's brows drew together in pleasure, his lips parting to let his breath come out in short huffs and yearning whimpers. "What's… _nng_... gotten into you?"

"Honestly…" Rei breathed grumpily against Nagisa's neck, kissing him while he spread the sweet sauce evenly over Nagisa's cock. "whose fault do you think this is? You simply couldn't wait."

The blonde squirmed in Rei's grip, letting out a breath when finally Rei pulled his hand away, moving to sink to his knees between Nagisa's thighs. He gripped Nagisa's knees, one of his hands leaving a print of sticky strawberry. He licked gently at the tip of Nagisa's dick once, twice, murmured "Thank you for the meal," and then he enveloped Nagisa's cock in the warm wetness of his mouth.

Nagisa let out a moan and tossed his head back, his hands holding onto the table tightly. It felt so much better than usual, the slickness of the sauce and the way Rei's mouth closed around him, licking and sucking at the hot flesh working together to create a pleasure he hadn't yet experienced. He decided resolutely that he was going to do the same to Rei at the next available opportunity just before Rei took more of him into his mouth, shutting down each and every thought process that Nagisa possessed.

" _God…_ Rei-chan…" One of Nagisa's hands found Rei's hair and gripped it for stability. He already felt like he was teetering on the edge, but he didn't want the pleasure to end.

Rei approached sexual matters much like pole vaulting; there was theory and calculation there, certainly, but mostly he was focused, his every movement and gesture precise, his mind capturing every noise and twitch he elicited from Nagisa in order to duplicate the reaction. When they had first started a sexual relationship, Nagisa wasn't entirely sure what to think of this logic over passion approach, but over time he couldn't help but find it so incredibly _Rei-chan_ , and as they grew more comfortably intimate, he was able to see that passionate side of Rei under all the dastardly pleasurable precision.

"Nng… _Aaahh…_ Rei-ch _aaan_ , I'm going... to…"

He could feel the tip of his cock hit the back of Rei's throat, tongue trailing along the underside, suction increasing in time with his moans. Nagisa's back curved and his thighs clamped down tightly on Rei's head as he came. Rei kept his lips firmly planted around the convulsing organ, swallowing it all, the taste of it boldly contrasting with the sweetness of the sauce.

Nagisa covered his face with his hands, breathing deeply, his body still riddled with tremors.

"Rei-chan… that… _oh my god_ …" he groaned. Rei stood up, licking his lips and wiping his mouth. He gently pulled Nagisa's hands down to view his rosy face.

"Beautiful," Rei exhaled softly.

They kissed, heady and sweet, Nagisa's shaking hands working to free Rei of his pants. Rei helped him up until the moment his zipper was dragged down.

"Nagisa-kun… Lube, it's in the bedroo-" His voice faltered and fell when Nagisa suddenly produced a tube of coconut oil from the pocket of his hoodie, which was bunched up around Nagisa's lower back. _The little devil_. Rei realized abruptly that the evening never had a _chance_ of going in the proper, classically romantic order he had planned out so perfectly beforehand.

Grabbing up the tube of oil, Rei grabbed Nagisa's hips and helped scoot him back on the table. Nagisa pulled up his knees, exposing himself shamelessly to his boyfriend. Rei's cock stirred in his boxers. Dabbing his fingers with oil, Rei inserted a finger into Nagisa, savoring the sweet strangled moan that followed. Rei leaned closer, his lips finding Nagisa's left nipple as he worked his finger inside, Nagisa gasping and whimpering, his hands tangling themselves in Rei's dark hair. Nagisa bucked against his hand, and Rei inserted another finger.

"Rei-chan… Please…" Nagisa whimpered, kissing Rei's shoulder desperately, " _Aah…_ I can't stand it, put it in!"

Rei's fingers slid in to the knuckle, pressing into Nagisa's prostate. Nagisa gasped, his teeth grazing the skin of Rei's shoulder. Pulling his fingers out, Rei squirted more oil into his hand, stroking himself until he was sure he was properly lubricated. Nagisa was watching as Rei aligned himself, and as Rei sunk into him, he tossed his head and exhaled contentedly, as if he had just taken a drink of something refreshing on a smouldering hot day.

"I've missed this so much…" Nagisa whimpered, his breathing hitched as Rei pulled out and thrust back in, more deeply. " _Auhh_ … Rei-chan, your cock feels so incredible…"

"Nagisa-kun…"

Both of them knew they couldn't last for long. Between the erotic location, the strawberry sauce and eight weeks of forced celibacy the boys were feeling the pressure mounting much more quickly than usual. Nagisa's legs had wrapped themselves around Rei's lower back, his arms circled around his neck for support as Rei's hips slammed rhythmically against him, the coconut oil warming Nagisa's insides and growing hotter with each thrust. Rei kissed him aggressively, marking the inside of his mouth with the lingering taste of strawberry and come, both of them lost in the unrelenting waves of temerarious passion.

Rei could feel the sensitive bundle of nerves inside of Nagisa and strove to hit it with every stroke; Nagisa tightened his hold on Rei as if he were in danger of being dropped off a cliff, his voice coming out in high-pitched moans and cries. Rei held him close, burying his face in his neck.

"I love you," Rei breathed against him, inhaling the alluring scent of Nagisa's skin, catching a hint of fruity-smelling shampoo amidst the smell of chlorine and sweat. "I love you, Nagisa-kun. I love you…"

"Rei-chan… _Ahh_ …Hn _ng_... I l-love you Rei-chan, so much… _So much_ …"

They both hit their limit like a wall, Rei burying himself in to the root and groaning, holding Nagisa tightly against him as he came. He could feel the warm wetness of Nagisa's second orgasm hitting his stomach, the boy's voice broken and wailing, his legs and his arms locking Rei in position with an almost painful grip. Rei held Nagisa as they rode out the remainder of their orgasms, kissing his hair, the tip of his ear, swiping some damp hair away from his forehead to kiss him there. Nagisa's lids were heavy, his breathing ragged, his face and chest flushed.

"My gorgeous Nagisa-kun," Rei mused fondly, tracing Nagisa's chin with his finger.

.

.

.

It was completely unavoidable, carrying Nagisa to the bedroom. The kitchen table was not exactly suitable for after-sex cuddling, and even though the hospital had cleared him and Nagisa firmly asserted that he was just fine, Rei was worried he had strained himself. Still, Nagisa didn't object to being carried to bed, and currently he lay under Rei's blankets, his arms around Rei's chest, his head nestled comfortably under his chin. Rei kissed the top of his head, his arms slung around Nagisa's waist.

"Dessert was meant to come _after_ dinner. I had everything all planned out tonight, you know." he said in mock disapproval. Nagisa giggled sleepily.

"Sometimes dessert tastes better when you eat it first," he pointed out, humming contentedly as Rei ran fingers through his hair. "What _else_ did you have planned, Rei-chan?"

Rei reddened, nervousness flooding his stomach. "Well…" Rei started, so haltingly that Nagisa gently pushed away to look up at Rei with wide, eager eyes, "After dinner, I was going to give you something, but…"

Nagisa shot up, the blankets sliding off his shoulders. "A present?" he chimed excitedly, eyes sparkling. "Show me, show me!"

Rei couldn't help but smile as his boyfriend happily hopped on the bed, his enthusiasm helping to calm his nerves.

"Could you… Close your eyes?" Rei asked, and Nagisa nodded, smiling brightly as he shut his eyes and leaned forward, shrugging up his shoulders.

It was difficult not to peek, but somehow Nagisa managed to keep his eyes firmly shut as Rei retrieved the mystery surprise. Rei's gifts were always well-thought out and often practical, but Nagisa loved them regardless. Mostly they were unpredictable, things not usually thought of as obvious romantic gift ideas, leaving Nagisa with no real guess as to what Rei could have been planning.

Rei took his hand, and he was sliding something cool onto his finger. Although Rei hadn't told him he could look, he opened his eyes, stunned. On the third finger of his right hand was a silver ring, shining and sleek, with a subtle but beautiful band of tiny pink gemstones circling through the center. Nagisa stared at it, dumbfounded, until finally he realized that he had gone quite a long time without saying anything, and he glanced up at Rei to find an identical ring on Rei's finger, differing only in size and color of gemstones. Still he continued to stare, his lips parted, his brain finding it impossible to form proper reaction words.

"Rei… chan…?"

"I was going to wait until Christmas," Rei began, still red-faced, and looking a bit concerned at Nagisa's stunned silence, "but after what happened…" He heaved a sigh, holding Nagisa's hand in both of his. "The entire time I was at the hospital, I couldn't stop thinking about what my life would be like without you. I felt so selfish thinking like that, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stand the thought of being without you. I still feel that way. I made the decision to attend a school in a city far away, and you've done nothing but support me in every way you could… But I couldn't help thinking how you must have felt the same way, even though you were smiling and encouraging me the whole time."

He hadn't realized it, but as Rei was talking, Nagisa's eyes were welling up with warm tears, making his vision swim and his bottom lip quiver.

"Nagisa-kun… I never want to be apart from you. I'm going to Tokyo so that I can learn the skills I need to support you, that's what I've decided. It will be hard, it will be _so hard_ being away from you, but with that thought in mind, I know I can endure it. If you accept this ring, I swear to spend the rest of my life making you happy."

Nagisa looked down at his hand again, finding that he could barely see the ring on his finger through the tears that were now dropping from his eyes. But he couldn't stop them from coming, and soon his shoulders were shaking and he felt sobs rising in his throat.

"Nagisa-kun…?"

Nagisa's arms flung around Rei's neck, and he was sobbing on Rei's shoulder, real, honest choking sobs, softly whimpering his name like a mantra. Rei held him tightly, feeling almost like he could cry himself.

"Of _course_ I accept!" Nagisa cried, overwhelmed by the emotions that were pouring out of him. "I love you, Rei-chan! More than anything! I swear too, I'll work really hard and make enough money to see you even sooner!"

Rei nuzzled his face in Nagisa's hair, holding him until he had calmed down some. His heart felt like it was exploding with both relief and happiness. "Fair enough. Let's both work hard," Rei said softly.

Once he had stopped crying, Nagisa gently pushed away, wiping his tear-stained face on his arm. He laughed, the sound of it trembling and weak. "That left me feeling really exhausted somehow," he said amusingly. Rei smiled at him apologetically.

"At this rate, we'll never get around to making dinner," he chuckled.

"We can order out!" Nagisa chirped. He glanced at his hand again, touching the ring tenderly. "It's so beautiful, Rei-chan. I love it," he remarked happily, running a finger over the gemstones.

"Of course!" Rei said proudly, smiling confidently. "They're made out of a very beautiful metal, and the design is simple but still has its own flare. They also had to be durable, because of how often they would be exposed to pool water, and I chose the gems that were both pleasant to look at, color relevant, and resistant to chlorine. In the end, I believe I made the best choice!"

Nagisa smiled, an unmistakable fondness softening his features. His face was rosy and his eyes were still shining from the memory of tears, strands of fluffy blonde hair framing his face in the most endearing way. "My husband is certainly capable, isn't he?" Nagisa cooed sweetly. Rei's smile dissolved into a look of utmost surprise. In no time at all, Rei was kissing Nagisa in earnest, pushing him onto his back between the pillows as Nagisa's arms twined around his neck, pulling him in gratefully.

Dinner was going to have to wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Why does Nagisa always end up crying in all of my Reigisa fics ;~;
> 
> This is a sort of sequel(?) to my Rei/Rin buddy fic 'it's a constant state', only in the sense that Rin and Rei have confirmed anxiety disorders and understand each others' well. I just really like Rei and Rin being anxiety-ridden friends apparently. orz


End file.
